Morals, Souls and Words

Right.

Wrong.

I’ve decided that these terms do not really exist, and they have no meaning. You can say something is right, but there will always be someone who disagrees. Always. No matter what the case or the circumstance or the situation, there will never be a unanimous moral.

I think I think too much. It makes my head hurt. I cannot take one side of an argument over another because I can see both sides so clearly. they both make sense I can always argue for and against something, anything. I don’t know if this makes me some crazy girl who doesn’t know what the hell she is on about half the time, or if my opinion matters, or if I am somehow a more enlightened being. Maybe it isn’t so much that I don’t have a position within an argument, but that I can see both sides so clearly that I sometimes doubt my resolve. I have no resolve. I can say that something is wrong, like murder, but I will always know that to someone, it was right, and those thoughts plague me. I am filled with compassion and empathy for the murderer. I see you and I know what you were thinking. I understand a small part of you. We can never totally know someone else, How can anyone know your soul as well as you do? The soul. It is our most important part. We have a body and brain and a heart and lungs, but it is our soul that controls us. Our brain tells our heart when to beat, tells our lungs when to inhale and exhale, but it is soul that houses our thoughts, passions, desires, malice, egotism, love and hope. I’ve always thought that the soul resides in you, somewhere around the stomach region…haha.

So morals are too subjective and the soul is everything. Sometimes I detest my thinking and thoughtfulness. It has only just come about, these last few weeks. Or rather it has become a more prominent part of my thinking. I am not unsure of myself, I know what I think and I accept it, but sometimes I wish I didn’t think so deeply. I wish that I could look at the Holocaust and not fathom why it was done. But I can, and while I can say that it was terrible and should never ever ever ever ever happen ever again, I cannot call it wrong, because there were and are people who think it was right. It was the right thing to do, to commit mass genocide and kill a million Jewish people along with gypsies, homosexuals and anyone else who did not fit the Aryan profile.

Perhaps it is not that right and wrong do not exist, but simply that too much pain is caused in the name of them. Wars are about morals as much as money and greed and pride. we should be a little bit more understanding of other’s sense of right and wrong, not accepting necessarily but understanding.

I’ve gotten careful with my words too. I do not say something is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ with the exception of scientific, mathematical and proven fact. I was recently in a situation when the man I love had to chose between me and another woman. He chose her, and that’s ok. I understand and accept why he chose her, and they will have a better chance of happiness and success that he and I would have. But I cannot bring myself to say that she was the better, right, or good choice, because that could mean that I was the worse, wrong or bad choice. And I’m not. So I’m careful with my words and simply say that she was the choice he made and good luck to them. I wish them the best.

With peace, honesty, respect, love and hope,

Kodiko