Most things we write come out of a moment of enthusiasm
Anxiety. Suffering. Pain. Stress.Temporary insomniac. Headache. Sick. Tired. Pressure. Dread. Nervousness. Hard. Trepidation. These are the words normally associated with ‘end of semester tests of competency’. Also known as exams. I don’t know why they’ve taken a simple, if downright terrifying, concept and complicated it. But like I said, stress, anxiety and dread are the most common words associated with the horrid end of semester exam time. But strangely, I feel none of these. I detest my line of study so much that I care enough to attend the exam, but not enough to care if I pass or fail. Terrible I know. I studied well for my first exam today, and may have scraped past the 75% credit line. But I’ll be happy with a pass. Analyse Force Systems is another matter. Just thinking about it now I have a murderous headache looming, just behind my eyes and forehead. Or maybe my nose. Does my brain go down that far? Or is the idea simply affecting my bones and cartilage too? I am 80% sure I will fail that subject altogether. I need at least 70% on my exam tomorrow to pass, and I just barely scraped through on my last exam, which I studied very studiously for… this one though, the topics we’ve done are hard and I barely understand them. This makes me incompetent in the subject, so it stands to reason that I will not pass a ‘test of competency’, as they like to call it.
But like I said, I don’t especially care. I want to pass, simply because i need the good grades to get accepted into Uni next year. And then later when I move to NZ, I can get into Uni with my good grades. But I’ve already resigned myself to failing forces. The rest I can live with.
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