Most things we write come out of a moment of enthusiasm
I’m feeling sick today, so not sure how long this will be, or if it will be interesting. Some of it must be interesting because poeple keep looking at it, or maybe they just have a short term memory issue and only realise what they are looking at once they arrive (again).
So new plans abound, along with new worries. So far this year I have gone to Costa Rica, with the intention of doing USA, Singapore, Melbourne, and either South Africa or Thailand before the year is out. Am I doing too much all at once? I say no, and have managed to fall into a universe that takes care of me and let’s me find funds that allow me such adventures.
My biggest concern, perhaps my only concern, is that my wonderful boyfriend will get sick of me gallivanting around the globe, not always with him. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to have him along too, but he has already committed to a life of paying the mortgage and going to work every day. I don’t know how he does it, I’ve said that before. It is true though that when he first started looking to buy a house that a) we were still a young couple (hell, we still are really), and b) I didn’t know I would discover so many wonderful opportunities to travel. And now, the most terrifying possibility fo all is that if push came to shove, I would still choose to travel than stay. This is all fantasy, but it could be true. If I did stay, I would always resent/wonder what I missed out on. Maybe this is the downfall of dating and loving someone seven years older than you. They already have a direction, and I do too, it is just a lot more fluid and dynamic and free.
I’ve been saying I want to travel the world since I was about seven years old. I would spend hours thinking of ways that I could have a career that would allow me to travel, but now, maybe travelling can be my career. My mother asked me the other day about my savings and I am saving a substantiated amount amount for each year left of uni so that I can travel full time when I finish.
“But what about buying a house?”
To be honest I don’t really want a house, not now; and if the universe takes care of me like it always does, my wonderful boyfriend already has a house. And now we have come full circle.
Sometimes I would call myself selfish, I’m sure others would, but I don’t care. I suppose I take the stance of this is my life, and while my decisions are influenced by people that I love dearly, what I do is decided by me. Not my boyfriend, fiancee, husband, mother, best friend etc. I would add dog to that list but that is probably the only thing that would keep me home, because it wouldn’t be fair to the dog, having to be re-homed etc. Which is why I don’t have a dog.
I wonder if my mother would be proud of having such an independent daughter who knows what she wants and whose life isn’t dictated by the people in it, or if she would despair at my selfishness and fear of being conventional. Maybe I should ask her. She recently subscribed to my blog and she now has her own. Hi Mum.