Kodiko

Most things we write come out of a moment of enthusiasm

A Thousand Words and Forty-Five Smiles


They say a photo is worth a thousand words. I’m inclined to believe that, all the photos I have on my wall could easily have 1000 word essays attached to them. There’s the photos of me age 4 sitting on a tree stump in the back garden we had then. The photo of my mum when she was 14 but looked 20. The two photos of Annie, my godmother who I haven’t seen for years because she disliked my mother getting remarried. My little sister occupies a fair few of my photos. A group photo with all my paternal family. A family portrait of my aunt, uncle and their eldest two children. Modelling photos of my cousin and I, my paternal aunt and her son. Postcards in German, artworks of Venice collected in Europe on little cards, artistic engineering blueprints, photos of cars. All of these images have stories attached memories to remember and tangents to be explored. I want to get more though, I have so many photos of friends and family that sit on my hard drive gathering dust… They make me smile at the memories, the crazy times I spent with people and while we never did anything stupid, it feels good knowing that I got to have a few pure teenage moments. Some of them make me cry too, some of them tear at my heart and make my soul scream in a tortuous dark wail that will never truly be silenced. And that’s ok, I’d feel cheated if I did not have those. The important part is to find a balance for the tortured wails and the beautiful smiles. Finding a place where the pain is accepted and understood and thus can be left alone and not be the predominate dictator all the time. It still hurts like hell, it’s raw and burns like someone pressed a clothes iron onto it whenever you get reminded and you aren’t prepared. Some object or place, or a photo or a letter kept buried in some dark box, coming to light unexpectedly and with blunt honestly. These are the times when it’s hard to remember those smiles, the water fights, the kisses, the Kinder Surprises, the teddy bears, the beautiful secrets, the blue paint.

Here’s a list of some other things that might provoke a smile, a memory or a hope, that I dug up in one of those boxes I was talking about.

    1. laughing so hard your face hurts
    2. Falling in love
    3. A hot shower
    4. No lines at the supermarket
    5. A special glance
    6. getting mail
    7. Taking a drive on a pretty road
    8. Hearing your favourite song on the radio
    9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside
    10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer
    11. Milkshakes
    12. A bubble bath
    13. Giggling
    14. A good conversation
    15. The beach
    16. Finding $20 in a coat from last winter
    17. Laughing at yourself
    18. Holding a newborn baby
    19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours
    20. Running through sprinklers
    21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all
    22. Having someone tell you you’re beautiful
    23. Laughing at an inside joke
    24. Friends
    25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you
    26. Waking up and realising you still have a few more hours to sleep
    27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner)
    28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones
    29. Playing with a puppy
    30. Having someone play with your hair
    31. Sweet dreams
    32. Hot chocolate
    33. Road trips with friends
    34. Swinging on swings
    35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger
    36. Making chocolate chip cookies
    37. Receiving home-made cookies from your friends
    38. Holding hands with someone you care about
    39. Running into an old friend and realising that some things, the good and bad, never change
    40. Watching someone’s face as they open a present from you that you know they have wanted for ages
    41. Watching the sunrise
    42. Getting out of bed every morning and being happy for another beautiful day
    43. Knowing somebody misses you
    44. getting a hug from someone you care about deeply
    45. Knowing you’ve done the right thing, no matter what other people think

With peace, happiness, love, respect, hope and humility,

Kodiko

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This entry was posted on July 17, 2010 by in Life.
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